My dear Reader,
WOUNDS FROM A FRIEND
"Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are
the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful"
(Proverbs 27:5, 6).
Nobody wishes to have his or her weaknesses exposed.
Exposure of our weaknesses is painful and sometimes, it can be very
embarrassing. That is why (I believe) this is one of the reasons people
are wearing masks. We see hypocrisy everywhere. We see it in our
workplace, school, church and home. Oftentimes, you feel like voicing it
out but then you are afraid of being rejected, of being marked, of
losing favor, of losing popularity, of being called the "bad" guy, of
losing votes when church election comes.
God hates hypocrisy. Rebuking the Pharisees and
Scribes, Jesus said, "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees,
hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear
beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all
uncleanness. Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but
within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity" (Matthew 23:27, 28).
God wants His children to live in the light. Living in the light means
living according to the teaching of God’s Word (1 John 1:6). When a
Christian is not living in the light, the Word does not have any
penetrating power in him (1 John 2:4). In other words, the Word has no
effect on him.
Though the process of removing our masks, of
revealing what is hidden, of bringing to light our real selves is
painful, God wants us to do it so that we can live a life that is worthy
of the Gospel of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:27).
As I said, no one wants to be called the "bad"
guy for exposing another person’s weaknesses. Someone may argue that
this is not our culture of resolving the matter. In my opinion, this is
one of the most challenging undertakings a Christian is called upon to
do. Many of us would have difficulties confronting an older person or a
leader about his or her inconsistencies of life.
Should we allow our culture to keep us from obeying
Proverbs 27:5 and 6? Though these verses remind us of what true love
is and in obeying it, it exposes our real enemies, Paul also reminds us
that the task of rebuking and correcting one another belongs to the
spiritual ones (Galatians 6:1). So the ministry of rebuke and
restoration is not only the task of spiritual leaders but also the task
of every Spirit-filled Christian. According to James, the ministry of
rebuke and restoration is the responsibility of every Spirit-led
Christian (James 5:19, 20).
What is True Love?
If your love for your erring brethren is genuine, you
do not need to fear to tell them about a fault and correct them. Solomon
said, "Open rebuke is better than secret love." Rebuke is a kind
of verbal correction. "Open rebuke" is to be preferred to
"hidden love." In other words, correcting a person’s fault (not
finding fault, Matthew 7:1-5) is an evidence of love, but failing to
correct him shows one’s love is withdrawn (Hebrews 12:5-8).
The Bible also tells us not to waste time on people
who do not want to accept rebuke (Proverbs 9:8; 13:1, 8). There are
people who are so stubborn that no amount of reproof can help them
change their conduct of life. The best thing to do is to leave them
alone for the time being and pray for them (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).
What is True Friendship?
True friendship is rare. There is a saying, "Gold
is plenteous but bosom friends are rare." What did Solomon mean by
"faithful are the wounds of a friend?" (Proverbs 27:6a) Let me
illustrate. My best friend is my wife. She is my best critic. Because
she loves me, she would gently wound me by pointing out my mistakes
privately. Sometimes, I may find it hard to stomach her criticism, but I
have to accept what she said which is true of me. I am wounded for my
good.
Wounding a friend is never an enjoyable thing. Nobody
likes to do it. However, there is a need to do it in the Body of Christ
if you want to see it function properly. Paul said, "All scripture is
given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for reproof … for
correction" (2 Timothy 3:16). There is a ministry of rebuke and
correction. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees and the Scribes for making God’s
commandment of none effect by their tradition. As a result, they were
offended by what Jesus said (Matthew 15:12).
When a preacher preaches too hard to the
congregation, some people may not be able to take it. As a result, they
react indifferently to the preacher’s sermon. In my Christian journey, I
have had the privilege to hear a variety of preachers internationally.
Some are gentle and steady in their delivery, others are humorous but
firm, and still others are full of firecrackers. I believe God uses
different preachers to speak to His people. John the Baptist was not
Jesus; Paul was not Apollos; Barnabas was not Peter, Spurgeon was not
John Sung.
One of the best things to do when it comes to
listening to "hard" sermons is to ask ourselves these questions: Why
is the preacher confronting, probing, restricting, and inflicting pain
on us? Is God speaking to us through the message? If we believe that
"All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for
reproof … for correction," then we should and must submit
ourselves to the authority of the preached Word (1 Thessalonians 2:13).
The Attitude of Wounding Others
Whenever we engage in wounding others, we are open to
scrutiny. We have to examine whether our motives are right. Our purpose
of rebuking and correcting others is not to get something out of it for
ourselves. We do not do it for revenge. We do not do it to seek to put
down someone in order to exalt ourselves. We do not enjoy wounding
people. We do it because we love them. We must speak the truth in love
(Ephesians 4:15).
There is one important element that goes with the
ministry of saying hard things to our fellow brothers and sisters in the
Lord. When inflicting pain on others, we must empathize with them. We
must be able to feel what they feel. We are not sadists. We must not
have perverse pleasure in seeing them go through immense pain in order
to get well. We must show sympathy and empathy to them (Hebrews 4:15).
There is one person who constantly wounds us for our
own good. He is faithful and He does it truthfully. That person is none
other than God (John 15:2). How does He do it? He does it in
several ways. He does it through His Word. Whenever we read His Word, He
speaks to us. Through His Word He shows us our waywardness and gently
rebukes and corrects us.
He does it through His servants and messengers (2
Timothy 2:24-26). Sad to say but it is true. Oftentimes, His preached
Word is being despised and His servants are being persecuted (2
Chronicles 36:15, 16; Matthew 23:34). We have failed to receive His Word
with all readiness of mind (Acts 17:11) and get ourselves in deep
trouble (Proverbs 13:13). Let us pray fervently for His Word to have a
penetrating power in us (1 John 2:4).
He does it through trials of life (James 1:2-4; 1
Peter 1:6, 7). He allows adverse circumstances to come along our way in
order to teach us lessons He wants us to learn (Hebrews 12:5-11; 1 Peter
4:12-19).
Inflicted pain from a friend can be trusted, but an
enemy multiplies kisses. "An enemy" (Proverbs 27:6b) here
literally means "one who hates." An enemy will tell you what you
want to hear. He will inflict pain that is destructive. He may seem to
be a friend by his many kisses, but in actual fact he is your deadly
enemy.
Paul warns us that in the last days many of God’s
people will not endure sound teaching. Instead, to suit their own
desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say
what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away
from the truth and turn aside to myths (2 Timothy 4:3, 4; Acts
20:29-31).
My dear reader, it is impossible to minister
faithfully in Christ’s name and be untruthful at the same time. How
can a preacher possibly be a spokesman of God if he is a liar, if he is
a man-pleaser who tells his congregation what it wants to hear?
(Galatians 1:10) Preachers are not politicians; they are preachers of
God’s Word. The audience may want to hear "Yes, yes" and "No,
no" at the same time. But the resounding "yes" to every
promise of God is Jesus Christ, and the answer of the congregation
should be "Amen" to the "yes" of God.
So, be careful of people coming to you with words of
flattery. Do not be overtaken by their sweet talk. For their lips drip
honey and their speech is smoother than oil; but in the end they are
bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword (Proverbs 5:3, 4).
However, a true friend, that is, someone who loves you, may seem to be
an enemy by the wound he inflicts (probably inner hurts that come from
being rebuked or criticized), but his rebukes may be his genuine
expressions of friendship. Thank God for such people!
Doctors probe their patients so that they can have a
better diagnosis of their illness and prescribe the right prescription
for healing to take place. Surgeons cut, inflicting pain in the process,
so that they may prevent the spread of disease and speed up healing.
Likewise, a faithful friend will help you by first wounding you. He will
confront you, probe you, and restrict you. He will tell you things that
you don’t like to hear. You may feel hurt and have sleepless nights. But
you must understand that a faithful, trusted friend will do this to you
because he loves you dearly.
Ask God to give you such a friend! Amen.
—CW
Children aged 3 to 10 will sing old time carols as
they retell the Nativity story. Presentation on Noah’s Ark by FEK.
Bring a friend and let the children share the tidings
of great joy and hope to all people!
