As today is Mother’s Day it would be appropriate for us to meditate on what the Bible says about the home. God wants us to build godly homes for Him because our family life is important to Him, as seen in the way that He dealt with families in the Bible.

When God called Abraham to go to the Land of Promise, he included the promise that, "in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed." (Genesis 12:3) When the gospel of Christ was preached at Philippi it brought not only individuals to salvation but families as well (Acts 16:15,33). And when God gave instructions to His people on how they should live, He included instructions on their family life. All these show that God has a claim upon our home. He wants us to make our home a godly home. But what are the ingredients that must be used to build a godly home?

The first and most important ingredient is found in Colossians 3:16,17 – "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him."

Although this passage indicates Christ’s pre-eminence within the church, it also applies to the home. Each Christian family is a subunit of the family of God which is the church. The Lord is therefore the most important member of the home. Even though He may not be visible, He must be given the greatest honour and respect by all at home. In some Christian homes, you may find a plaque on the wall that reads, "Christ is the Head of this House, the Unseen Guest at every meal, and the Silent Listener to every conversation." And He must be loved more than anyone else, even more than one’s spouse, children or parents.

It is this common love that all family members have for God that binds them together. It is the mainstay or backbone of the family. And when all members of the family are equally and fully committed to the Lord, then that love becomes the strongest force that can bind the family and keep it from disintegrating despite any trial or crisis.

But such a home will not come about without effort. The knowledge of God and love for God must be cultivated in every member of the home. A godly home cannot be built and maintained without this. This is why we need to do what v.16 says: "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom…" The Word of God must be read, taught and studied not only in church, but even at home. And this is not only to be done individually, when each family member has his or her own quiet time with God, but also together as a family.

Dear Reader, please make time to bring the teaching of God’s Word right into your own home. How wonderful it is to have a home where family members take delight in opening the Scriptures together and talking about the things of God during family devotions!

This is found in Colossians 3:18 – "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." Wifely submission is not a very popular concept in the world today. Some would even consider the idea offensive, old fashioned and even unjust.

But every Christian wife is commanded in the scriptures to submit to her husband. This submission was not the outcome of a male-dominated society that existed in Bible times. Neither was it a temporary cultural phenomenon. 1 Corinthians 11:3 reveals that it is based on an eternal principle – "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." Here the man’s headship is compared with two other headships: the headship of Christ over man, and the headship of the Father over the Son. Just as these two headships never change, the headship of the man in the family applies to marriage in every age – ancient as well as modern.

The husband’s headship does not imply that wives are inferior. In 1 Corinthians 11:3 it is compared with the headship of the Father over the Son. We know that the distinction of the roles of the three Persons within the Godhead does not in any way diminish the deity or importance of any one of them. Therefore when wives submit to the headship of their husbands, this submission does not diminish their personal standing and importance. Before God, husbands and wives stand on the same footing, as they are "heirs together of the grace of life." (1 Peter 3:7)

Does the wife’s submission require her to give up all her initiative and creativity? Not at all. In fact wives can be very creative and have much initiative within their submissive role, like the ‘virtuous woman’ in Proverbs 31:10-31. Wives, submit lovingly and willingly to your husband, in the same way that you would submit to the Lord Jesus Christ. Always recognize the fact that God has given him the role of leadership in the home and you should never attempt to usurp this role from him.

And you who are husbands must not tempt her to usurp your role by neglecting your leadership role, leaving a leadership vacuum in your home. In many homes abdicating husbands are the cause of the disruption of the God-given order of leadership. And Christian husbands should always exercise their leadership role not in a forceful or tyrannical manner, but with love.

This ingredient is mentioned in Colossians 3:19 – "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." Most husbands will gladly say, "I will" to this requirement on their wedding day especially when they behold their beautiful bride smiling demurely at them. But when the wedding is over and the reality of living together sets in, all the faults and weaknesses in each person’s character will become apparent. Then feelings of love may give way to feelings of bitterness. It is against this that the Word of God here says to husbands, "love your wives, and be not bitter against them."

To overcome this, every husband ought to think of his wife as a part of himself. When God created Eve and brought her to Adam, the first thing that he said was, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." With this mindset a husband will take very good care of his wife and be sensitive to her many needs – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it." (Ephesians 5:29)

Colossians 3:20 tells us about this ingredient:"Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." This command is so important that God made it the fifth commandment (Exodus 20:12). Its importance can be seen in the obedience of Jesus to His earthly parents, Mary and Joseph, when He was a child (Luke 2:51).

In the Old Testament we have the example of Isaac: "And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they went both of them together. And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood" (Genesis 22:8-9) Isaac’s obedience in this instance enabled his father to obey God’s instructions. Although he was already old enough to refuse to be bound and placed on the altar to be sacrificed, he chose to honour his father with his obedience. Perhaps he also shared his father’s faith that God would provide a sacrifice. God did provide a substitute to be sacrificed in his place (Genesis 22;13). He also blessed Isaac as he grew up to inherit all the precious promises that God had made to his father.

Children who obey their parents like this will also be blessed in another way. They will grow up to understand obedience to authority, and obedience to God. They will probably not become rebellious, trouble-making misfits, but good law-abiding citizens. This helps them to live a life of tranquility that would tend to prolong their life. This is one reason why the fifth commandment is accompanied with the promise of long life (Ephesians 6:2,3).

Our final ingredient is given in Colossians 3:21 – "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged." The same command as found in Ephesians 6:4 has the additional words, "…but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Although only fathers are addressed here, it is understood that mothers are also involved in the care and upbringing of the children. In fact mothers are usually the ones who provide most of the care and nurture that their children need.

Many fathers are so busy with their work and so exhausted when they come home that they hardly spend quality time with their children. When the children come to them for help or just for companionship they scold them for bothering them. When the children make a little too much noise they scold them for disturbing their rest. Such treatment will only discourage their children from getting close to their fathers, and worse still, it may provoke them to anger – anger that their father does not love them or care for them.

Fathers, God wants you to take your parenting role seriously. You should regard your children as God’s precious gifts that are entrusted to your care. Psalm 127:3,4 – "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is His reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth." Do your best to love them and nurture them well to build them up for God.

One good example in the Bible of a good father is Abraham. God knew that he would "command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment." (Genesis 18:19) Thus He gave him a son named Isaac. Abraham loved Isaac and provided for his needs – even to the extent of finding a suitable wife for him! He taught Isaac all that he knew about God and His covenant with them. That was how Isaac knew enough to continue in the same covenant relationship with God that Abraham had enjoyed. What would have happened if Abraham had been too busy to spend time with his son? The line of redemption would probably have come to an untimely end!

Another child in the Bible who was also a precious gift from God was Samuel, the son of Hannah. While Abraham serves as a pattern for fathers in this aspect, Hannah serves as a pattern for all mothers. Like Abraham, Hannah initially had no children. But after her fervent praying, the Lord graciously gave her a son named Samuel. Like Abraham, Hannah was willing to give her son to the Lord. In fact she gave him the best care a mother of her times could give to her son until he was old enough to serve the Lord at the Tabernacle.

Mothers, your children are precious lives that have been entrusted to your care for a time. They are given for you to build, to mould, and to train well (Proverbs 22:6). Build a strong bond of trust with each child you have, and carefully teach them to love the Lord. Ask God to make you like Eunice and Lois – the mother and grandmother of Timothy (2 Timothy 1:5) – who taught Timothy well and raised him up to become a man whom God could use (2 Timothy 3:14,15).

Perhaps you may say, "It is not easy for me to do this. You don’t know what my spouse and children are like." The first person who needs to change is yourself. As you change your attitude and conduct at home and earnestly ask God to work in your family, they will gradually change as well. Share what you have learned from this article with them and encourage them to follow the Bible’s recipe for a godly home. And do not give up hope when you face difficulties, but trust in the Lord to help you to overcome them. —CS