This article focuses on the letter ‘A’ in our church’s WARM Programme, which stands for "Actively engage: Connect, smile, greet, shake hands (Philippians 4:21; 3 John 1:14)." A warm church is a place where members will readily and naturally take time to greet one another instead of rushing off at the end of the service. But what exactly does it mean to greet a person? Is there more to it than just the usual ‘Hi’ and ‘Hello’? Let us learn what greeting one another is all about from the Scriptures.

There are several forms of greetings in the Bible. Some were verbal and some physical. In the early days of Israel the usual manner of verbal greeting was a word of blessing or peace. Boaz greeted his workers with the words, "The Lord be with you." And the response with which they greeted him was "The Lord bless thee" (Ruth 2:4). Jews today would greet one another with just one word, "Shalom!" (This means ‘peace.’) When Jesus met His disciples in the upper room after His resurrection, His greeting was, "Peace be unto you" (John 20:19).

In our day and culture the acceptable form of greeting is a handshake, with the accompanying smile and verbal expression like, "How do you do?" With such a wide variety of forms of greeting in the Scriptures it should be clear that what is important is not the form itself but the feelings that are expressed.

The main purpose for greeting one another is to express the good feelings that we ought to have one for another. But what exactly are those feelings? Some clues on this can be found in the things that Paul mentioned about the brethren that he greeted in Romans 16. For instance, when he greeted Priscilla and Aquilla in vv.3,4 he thanked them for risking their lives for him. In the next verse, he called Epaenetus his "well-beloved" because he was the first Christian convert in Achaia, the southern part of Greece. In connection with Mary (v.6), he expressed appreciation for all the labour she had bestowed on him. Hence Paul’s greeting helped him to express how much the person he greeted meant to him. Likewise whenever we greet one another, we are to express the thought that each brother and sister in Christ means a lot to us.

In some verses Paul mentioned the fact that certain people are in the Lord (vv.8,11-13), i.e. that they are fellow believers. That fact itself brought good feelings to him. From this we can learn that although some people may mean more to us than others, because of their involvement in our lives or the help they have rendered to us, all believers should also mean much to us, simply from the fact that they are in Christ. That itself is worth noting, remembering, and acknowledging in an act of warm Christian greeting! Therefore all who are in Christ have good reason to greet one another.

A quick look through all the 26 names mentioned in Romans 16 reveals an interesting mixture of people. The apostle Paul greeted both men and women. Some of the women mentioned by name are Priscilla who was the wife of Aquilla, Mary, Tryphena, Tryphosa and Persis. Then there are also two women not mentioned by name: the mother of Rufus (v.13) and the sister of Nereus (v.15). The rest of the names in the list are names of men. Some were married, like Aquila and Priscilla, while others were unmarried. Some already had families, like the households of Aristobulus and Narcissus (vv.10,11).

There was also no distinction made between Jews and Gentiles. Those whom Paul called his kinsmen were Jews, and they include Andronicus and Junia (v.7), and Herodion (v.11). Among the rest of the names, some were Greek (like Olympas, v.15) and others were Latin (like Rufus, v.13). Some of the names have been identified as slaves of the imperial family in Rome. Their names have also been found on burial inscriptions in Rome, belonging to that period of time. Other names are thought to belong to believers in the aristocracy or nobility of Rome. For example the names Tryphena and Tryphosa mean "dainty" and "delicate" respectively. Aristobulus and Narcissus were names of two rich and famous influential people living in Rome at that time.

All these show that our regard for one another should be the same regardless of age, gender, race, status, culture or origin. In Life Church, we also find a mixture of members from various walks of life: old and young, rich and poor, and great and small. While it is natural to be attracted to those who share things in common with us we should not form cliques, but be always reaching out to other members in the church regardless of their background. There must be a mutual willingness among all Lifers to greet one another without any consideration of a person’s background.

Paul says in v.16, "Salute one another with a holy kiss." Therefore, when we shake hands with one another it ought to be a "holy handshake" and if we express verbal greetings to one another, it should also be characterised by holiness. In what sense can a handshake or word of greeting be holy? The word "holy" in this context means "pure and sincere." This implies 2 things:

1. They Must Be Sincere Expressions of Christian Love.

It is always appropriate and important for Christians to greet one another with sincere Christian love. But greetings among people oftentimes tend to become superficial and void of feelings. It is so easy to slip into having just the form without the feelings. People say, "Hello, how are you?" without any thought of wanting to know how you really are. Some would say, "It’s so good to see you," yet they could not care less if they would ever see you again. All of these are meaningless and empty. They are not sincere, and hence they are not holy. It would perhaps be good to be less lavish with your outward expressions of affection in greetings, and instead say things that you can really mean wholeheartedly.

The question arises: What if I do not have any feelings at all for people? How can I sincerely express feelings that don’t exist? Does that mean that I should refrain entirely from greeting people? No, it does not. It means that you need to work on your lack of feelings, or apathy, for others. That apathy is not good. In fact it is abnormal.

John the apostle stated this clearly in 1 John 3:10 – "In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother. For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another." (also in 1 John 4:7,8) When John speaks of "he that loveth not" he is not referring to a person who hates others, but to a person who has no love, or is apathetic toward others. As Christians we must seek to have genuine good feelings for others.

How can we do this? By developing a healthy interest in others. Make a serious effort to develop a sincere interest in others. If you do nothing to develop that interest, you will never feel comfortable greeting them. And besides that, you might always wish that others would be interested in you, and feel upset when no one seems to express any interest in you. And this may soon cause you to conclude that the people around you are cold. Focus on others rather than on yourself and soon you will begin to see a difference! When a person becomes a Christian, he should eventually become Christ-centred and others-centred. That change is part of the process of sanctification and spiritual growth that all believers must go through.

Let each of us do all that we can to develop an interest in others. Then we would be able to say what we mean, and mean what we say whenever we greet one another. Then our greetings would be pure, sincere and holy. Sometimes it may be very hard to do this, especially when a person’s feelings for another may be totally against any expression of greeting. And yet, because of the desire to put on an acceptable outward appearance, he still greets that person.

2. They Must Not Be Hypocritical

The hypocritical kiss that Judas used to betray Jesus (Luke 22:48) clearly deserves judgment. It was evil of him to exhibit pretended loyalty and love for his Master, when he in fact despised Him and sold Him to the authorities for 30 pieces of silver!

But lest we come under the same condemnation as him, let us search our own hearts. Have we ever greeted someone hypocritically? If our handshakes or words of greeting reflect the very opposite of what we feel in our heart, that would clearly be hypocrisy. It is dishonest to sugar-coat feelings of bitterness with a hypocritical greeting. That kind of greeting is not a holy greeting at all but an unholy greeting!

Some may think that the solution is simply not to greet that person at all. Then at least there would be honesty. And so some would make an effort to avoid meeting that person, so that they would never find themselves in the awkward situation of having to face that person and greet him. But that does not solve the problem. The root of the problem must be dealt with by clearing up the matter and working toward restoring harmony to the relationship.

Deal with the sin that has caused the relationship to be strained. If someone has sinned against you, go to him and share why you feel the way you do about him. On the other hand, if you have sinned against someone else, take the initiative to ask for forgiveness. Then you will be able to greet him sincerely. May we learn to greet one another sincerely, and with God’s help, remove all the hindrances and obstacles that keep us from doing this. —CS

The WARM Programme can be seen as the solution to warming up fellowship in the Church. Its adoption is simple and easy, and the results are always positive and lasting. Best of all, it provided license to initiate conversation in an otherwise reserved setting. May we have a new culture to warm every heart in the Lord. –Herbert Gwee

WARM name cards put to good use…

1. At the Christmas Programme of the MF and LF

After caroling at the Ling Kwang Home and Cheshire Home on 16 December 2006, the Men’s Fellowship and Ladies’ Fellowship proceeded to the home of Mr and Mrs Lee Fong Seng who had kindly invited us to a Christmas Dinner. We sang several carols and fellowshipped during the meal. Elder Chin was the speaker for the evening. He touched on the very important Christmas Story. After the message, we got to know one another through the WARM Programme.

Two WARM name cards were given to each of us. We filled in our name, dialect group, birthday, "Christian age group", which service we attend and two favourite Christmas carols. One card was put into a bowl and the other was pasted on our shirt or blouse. We inter-mingled to try to learn more about each other.

Later all the participants were divided into three groups. Everyone had to pick a card from the bowl. Mong Eng who conducted the games asked questions like, "Write the names of five people among you who were born in January." Following that, those whose birthday fell in that month had to stand up. Points were awarded to the groups according to the number of right answers they had.

At the end of the games, the points were totaled up. The group with the least number of points had to do a forfeit. Elder George and Christina Toh were the privileged ones from the group. They had each to contact, on the spot, a church member whose name was given by Mong Eng. They had to invite the person and his or her family to our fellowship lunch on the third Sunday of the month. Deacon Benny Goh had kindly sponsored six lunch tickets for each family. Sis Yap Beng Mui and family graciously accepted the invitation for warm fellowship at the January Sunday lunch. Praise God with Elder George’s follow-up to contact him, Brother Wun and his family also joined the Sunday warm fellowship lunch.

Finally, everyone had to look for the person whose card he or she was holding, then give the person his or her own card so that both persons could get to know each other better.

2. At the Wednesday Night Bible Class

Before Rev Colin Wong begins his teaching on the Epistles of John, everyone is given a WARM name card to get to know a person whom he or she has never spoken to before. Through the WARM programme I have personally come to know two people who have always been sitting in the pews in front of me during the worship service. Though we say ‘Hello’ to each other I have never known their names or their occupation.

We may ask members their names the first time we introduce ourselves, but after a while, unless we have good memory, we tend to forget the person’s name. Through the exchange of cards, we can refer to the cards when our memory fails us. The WARM Programme has encouraged us to know more members of the church. –Evelyn Tay

Note: If you would like to share a testimony or suggestions about the WARM programme that can be an encouragement to others, please send it to cseet@lifebpc.com.